Live Laugh Love My Fellow Travelers!

I need to think... I'll be back if/when I can... I love you my Fellow Travelers, I truly do. Remember, LIVE LAUGH LOVE! They're so important. And keep those DREAMS alive. They're just as important!!!

Shy Kitty

This shy kitty with his predatory eyes was the only Front Porch visitor this morning whose picture came out recognizable. Barely recognizable. Which says volumes about how bad the rest of my pictures were. They all said hello to the Delete button. My other visitor this morning did not have his picture taken. He and I were too busy engaged in an argument over ownership rights to the hair on my head. Why this particular member of the Order of the Flying Bloodletter's Society thought he could stake a claim on the top of my noggin is beyond me. We went 3 full rounds before he finally realized either of the two hands he was battling were more than willing to reduce him to a splotch on the porch if he persisted. He wisely chose to find an elsewhere to be and a somebody else to pester. It is 67 degrees already. Predicted high today is 82. Humidity is 81%, winds are calm and skies are fair. Tis gorgeous out there. May your today be gorgeous in it's own special way and happiness follow you throughout the day! Live laugh and love, my Fellow Travelers! A denizen of Google asked and I pondered, "How come, if a second comes before a minute, it's not called a first?"

Triple Piffle Day

So tell me, whadda think of today's Front Porch picture? This isn't a great picture of the neighborhood Cat Bird, because I didn't mash the camera's shutter release button in time, because, I guess, to capture him sitting so beautifully on the rock in the picture would have been to much to ask. Apparently, I have developed a talent for "Too late! Missed me!" Allow me to illustrate exactly how good I have gotten at this particular skill. All pictures were taken today mind you!

Here we have another picture that isn't of the adorable little Chipmunk foraging for food because I didn't get the camera focused and I didn't mash the shutter button in time. And once more before losing my patience....

The lovely hummingbird that isn't. This one irks me the most!! This one had me lose any and all cool self-control I possessed this morning because I had the camera focused AND pointed at the feeder, yet still managed to depress the shutter button TOO LATE!!!! PIFFLE!! DOUBLE PIFFLE!!! and, YES, I'm going for it!,  TRIPLE PIFFLE!!!!  *!HUMPHF!* ... It's not cool to lose one's cool. I am so glad triple piffle days are rare. The piffle spewing from my mouth this morning was not fit for auditory consumption.        

Nuttin' But Lichen This Morning

The Front Porch was a'bustling with visitors this morning! Not a single picture came out. The lichen on the tree was the only thing that sat still for the camera. Can't say lichen is a highly entertaining visitor. Kinda just sits there. Not a bad visitor tho. Just prefers to observe rather than participate. I get that. Me, the lichen and the numerous birds that visited this morning enjoyed a lovely 64 degrees with 78% humidity, fair skies and calm winds. Calm? There is a delicious breeze blowing out there. Has been all morning. Today the Weather Guessers get a break from the usual epithet thrown at them when I disagree with their forecast. The breeze IS a slight one. You know, seriously, I got nuttin' this morning. May your day be Merry and Bright, cus merry and bright ain't just fer Christmas time.

I Got Nuttin' Part 5

I got nuttin' this morning. Wait, I got a wet Front Porch, 56 degrees, 97% humidity, 3 mph winds and fog/mist. The We-Guessers tell us to expect more showers/patchy drizzle/patchy fog and a high of 61 today. I guess that means I got sumpin', not nuttin'. Right. Not feelin' it at the moment... My murder of  Crows buddies at work have brought their brood over to share in the feast of crackers, raisins and cranberries that I throw out. If you humanize this next picture that I took yesterday of a young crow waiting for Mama or Papa to feed him a cracker, you get a pretty clear idea of just how I feel this morning. He's adorable with that face. Me, on the other hand, wearing the same face?

Yeah, quite horrifying. A perfect illustration of my mood right now. My wish for you today... I wish I had a clever wish for you today, but a black cloud seems to have obscured all the wishes in my head... *heavy sigh*

Cicindela Sexguttata

Good morning from the Front Porch. It's kinda quiet. I wonder if animals get caught up in the human rhythm of a leisurely Saturday morning. No visitors makes me wonder if they too sleep in. No. No way. I just picked a quiet moment to step out on the Porch. The weather is awesome! 58 degrees, overcast skies, 6 mph winds that make you want to throw your head out the car window just like a dog does, and 90% humidity. Although the weather is absolutely wonderful, the weather picture is boring. I think the Front Yard trees are beautiful but they only change their clothes 4 times a year. I have a much more interesting picture of a visitor at work yesterday. He was some kinda purdy! For a creepy crawler, that is. His name is Cicindela Sexguttata. Try saying that 10 times fast. I would try, but I can't figure out how to pronounce it properly. We can call him the Six Spotted Tiger Beetle. I want some! They eat ants and spiders. As we have an enormous amount of both those delicacies, I think the Tiger Beetle would be quite happy here. I'm off. Work is yet again forcing me to call a halt to my morning musings. By the way, is Humpty Dumpty really an egg?... Google time!...ok... really!?... he's a what?... and a WHAT? Apparently, he's the answer to a riddle. That answer being an egg. But some would have him as a symbol of fertility. Go figure. No surprise that. There is nothing that mankind does NOT turn into such a symbol. I'm sensing a possible oxymoron in that last statement... Oh well. Moving on. Some say Humpty is a British Canon. Yes, I really did say canon. And yet, others claim him to be a parable about pride. All that with just a 10 minute Google search!!! DONE! WE'RE DONE HERE! Brain pain is threatening me!! Have a good day my Fellow Travelers of this Glorious Universe. May your day be ever free of brain pain!... Whoopsie. Almost forgot to share Tiger's portrait! Doncha love his clothes!!??

Malfunctioning Missiles

Weather- 59 degrees, overcast, 87% humidity, 3 mph winds. Beautiful, gorgeous, delicious day. I sat out there with my purple missiles locked and loaded for approximately 1 minute and am now the completely annoyed and hostile owner of three new welts. Firing mechanism must be malfunctioning. Or, more likely, the targeting system needs new glasses. I am also pondering the possibility that my skin has developed a psychosomatic response to just the thought of a bug bite and reacts accordingly. Ungrateful organ! My lack of a more interesting Front Porch picture this morning is wholly the fault of my traitorous epidermis. Channel change!  Was it me or did the crescent moon have a reddish tint to it last night? Partial lunar eclipse perhaps? I traversed the land and seas of Google searching for an answer. Although, I didn't search very hard. Ok, I lie. I just opened the door. I never actually stepped into Googleville. Too much brain pain involved with my latest Google quests. Eclipse or no, the moon was purdy last night. The moon will always be a much more interesting picture than a pair of pathetically malfunctioning purple missiles. Hey, do ya ever wonder if fish pass gas?

Flypaper Glue

A picture of the sky... that's all I got today. Last I checked the weather was... blast it. Where's my phone? Hang on a sec...  60 degrees. Degrees that feel wonderful, says I. The weather guessers say it's overcast. That it is. Now. It wasn't when I was out 3 hours ago snapping pictures. 8 mph winds out of the east, they say. No argument here. That wind is why the 60 degrees feels so good right now. 90% humidity. Humidity that has me sweating already. In 60 degree weather no less. Sweating while SITTING in 60 degree weather. 50% chance of precipitation. A 50/50 chance. I guess as far as rain is concerned we are, as they say, straddling the fence... whoa...that thought came with a vivid and uncomfortable image. WARNING: Abrupt channel change. Ever use flypaper? Google offered up a suggestion to make a trap with some to keep ants out of the hummingbird feeders. It works!! One ant got caught (poor lil' guy) but the rest stayed away! Then I Googled flypaper and birds. DO NOT USE GLUE TRAPS AROUND YOUR HUMMERS!!! Talk about vivid images!! Google offered up a loads of those! Birds as large as grackles caught in glue traps! So, this morning I rigged up a hummingbird guard around the flypaper. We'll see if it works. In the meantime, back to my original question. Ever use flypaper? Ever get that blasted glue on your fingers? You have ANY idea how hard it is to open a door with glue covered fingers? Ever notice that the flypaper package offers absolutely zero advice as to how to remove that blasted glue? Trust me when I say avoid tissue. My fingers looked like they were trying sprout feathers. Ever try to Google something with flypaper glue and bits of tissue on your fingers? Let's just say I feel perfectly justified in the following.... HUMPHFFFFFF!!!!!!  To help you avoid the mess I had to contend with this morning, keep a bottle of olive oil handy for just such an occasion. Or better yet, avoid the occasion altogether. Ya ain't missing out if ya do. One more thing before this babble fest is over. WARNING: Eminent channel change. Cruising the internet last night I came across an interesting question regarding a song I remember singing as a kid. As a kid I gave NO thought what-so-ever to the lyrics. I just sang it with everyone else, blissfully ignorant. But now I wanna know "Who is Yankee Doodle, and why did he name the feather in his hat Macaroni?" I might Google that one later but for now I'm done. May you cruise thru life without EVER having to contend with flypaper glue on your hands!! Live Laugh and Love, my Dear Travelers!! Hold on to that Laugh part should your hands ever get gluey!!

Critters Of The Many-Legged Variety

I had many visitors this fine morning, I did. Many. A great many as a matter of fact. The lawn was covered with them. The picture shows only one. That's because it was taken from a great distance and from the relative safety of the Front Porch. Gotta love a camera with zoom. I was in no mood to dance my way around the spider webs in the yard to get the best angle or try for the proper lighting. Nope. My wiggins meter went off for some reason. I can't figure why. Highly unusual of me for this particular occurrence. In any case, one example out of the several dozen available was all the camera was gettin'. You know, it's one thing to be subconsciously aware that the lawn is crawling with thousands of critters at any given moment. It's quite another to be visually slapped in the face and reminded. Must have something to do with all the issues I've been having lately with assorted critters of the many-legged variety. Moving onward. Lets see what the weather has for us... 63 degrees, calm winds, 96% humidity and fair skies. Sounds and feels about right. Work is insinuating itself into my thoughts, indicating a need to be elsewhere. I feel the need to quote the immortal words of Cave Johnson when he said, "We're done here!" A good day to you my Fellow Travelers of the Universe. Grab all the data you can, while you can! Might come in handy someday!

Very Messy

The Front Porch is 55 degrees. Humidity is 93%. Skies are fair and winds are calm. No visitors this morning except a cat bird that refused to pose for a photo. This morning's weather picture, taken in the M. Woods, features a clear glass garden totem I made last night. If you google 'glass garden totems' many, many images will pop up. I love them! I want to make them! I am so gonna make me a blue glass one! And I wanna make them as Christmas presents for the 'handmade only' family!! Everyone should go 'handmade only'! Ok, that's a bit presumptuous. Everyone should consider 'handmade only'. That's better. I do have two concerns regarding the totems, tho. Condensation must build up in them which would lead to mold and mildew inside where they cannot be cleaned. And what happens when the sun hits them? Will they light the dried grass, pine needles and leaves that are around them on fire?  That would certainly NOT be good. This totem is my first. I'm glad I used the cheapest and least attractive pieces of glass for my first attempt at the craft. I learned many things. For instance, there is a foil seal inside the tube of sealant that, if not pierced prior to use, will forced the sealant to gush out the back side of the tube when you depress the trigger on the caulk gun. Messy. Very messy. And laying down a bead of sealant on the edge of a piece of glass is not an easy thing for a novice. Messy. Very Messy. Also, do not try to pick up the pieces of glass before the sealant is dry. Messy. Very messy. I have enuf clear glass to make a second 'learning' totem that I want on the other side of my M. Woods gate. Cheap glass aside, I LIKE IT!! If I add one more piece of glass to the one in the picture I can turn it into a bird bath! I LIKE IT!! Right now I must go weigh down the bottom of Totem 1 with stones before the squirrels knock it over. May your day be filled with love and happiness, be free of "very messy" learning experiences and be full of your own personal "I LIKE IT" moments! Toodles!

Doe Wah Diddy

There I was just a sittin' on the Porch
Singin' DOE wah diddy diddy dum diddy DOE!!!!
Sing it Manfred!!
Yeah, ok, I kinda, sorta took liberties with Manfred Mann's lyrics, but there she was! Just a walkin' down the street!!! She wasn't singing "Doo Wah Diddy" but she sure made me want to!! What a wonderful visitor this morning! Anything that makes ya wanna sing... well, that's a GOOD thing!!!
The weather is awesome and a great 4th is predicted for us this year. May your 4th of July be wonderful and the fireworks grand my Fellow Travelers of the Universe! And, the Irish proverb has it right, so I must say it again, Sing as if no one were listening!!! It does the heart good!

Puzzling Out The Road

A picture from yesterday. She walked right in front of my car on the way to work! I love the way deer stop to examine the road before crossing it. One can almost hear them puzzling it out: "Is it a creek? Looks like a creek. Don't hear any water though" Head down. "Don't smell any water. Yech. Doesn't taste like water." Tap... Tap, tap with hoof. "Well, that certainly doesn't feel like water. Wonder if I can walk on it." Tentative step. Pause... Second tentative step. Pause... "Feels funny, but it appears to be holding. Let's go for it."  All the while I'm watching the doe puzzle out the road I'm frantically patting the passenger seat trying to find my camera. I finally give up and look down at the seat. Of course, it's jammed up into the console. The one place where my hand WASN'T patting. I grab the camera look up and she has crossed the road already!! To shorten this story, I fumble, the camera balks, I mash the shutter button several times, hoping for the best, my rear view mirror reveals a car right behind waiting for me to figure out how to use my gas pedal, and I suddenly remember where I am! On a public road with my car at a complete standstill right in the middle of it! Whoopsie! I am so relived the gentleman behind me did not throw any vulgar gestures my way. I've been getting a lot of that lately. All in all, it was quite an interesting 20 seconds, let me tell ya! And of the 8 pictures I forced the camera to take, I managed to snap one mostly clear shot. Now, on with the FP Report.

We are experiencing another weather holding pattern. Fair skies, cool breezes and high temps hovering in the high 70's to mid 80's. The Front Porch would have been a perfect place to mull over the mornings splendid weather recipe had it not been for the constant flybys and brazen attacks by members of the local Order of the Flying Bloodletter's Society. This club has only three requirements for membership, operational wings, a functioning proboscis and an appetite for blood. Blood which I involuntarily donated this morning. *HUMPHF!* I feel no need, and stubbornly refuse, to apologize for that one. As for my adorable little visitor this morning, please, would you and your buddies leave the worms alone and start eating the the pterosaurs? I would be most grateful! Lastly, my wish to you, Fellow Travelers, May your days be free of any encounters with the OFBS and it's blood thirsty members!

I Got Nuttin' Part 4

Rained last night. The flowers loved it. It's a beautiful day but I got nuttin'. I guess if I must visit the archives I must...

March 3, 2016

Almost missed seeing the moon. It's a horripiliation day. 12°+ 13 mph winds= -5° of brrrrrr. I opened the front door, was reaching for the storm door handle when the giant featherless goose in me put in an appearance. I watched a layer of frost cover the glass on the INSIDE of the door! Grabbing the ice cube that used to be the door handle, I found the door frozen to the weather stripping. One good shove was quickly followed by two stumbling steps outside when the door decided that if it had to go, it was taking me with it. Instantly the featherless goose that I already was decided to get goosebumps. Not of the cutis variety, no no. We went for a full blown horrip outbreak. Quite the feeling, these double goosebumps. Intense. Almost painful. Certainly debilitating, as I stood on the Front Porch shivering like a dope trying to remember what I was doing!! Weather picture! That's right. I was stepping out to take a weather pic. Take it now! Do it quickly!... Yeah right. Like that's gonna happen. The combination of fat horripiliated fingers, uncontrolled shivering and a brain having to fight a body trying to retreat back inside on its own, made taking a picture all but impossible. Purdy sure I'm thawing out now that I'm back in the house. Half the goosebumps are gone. I just need to convince the featherless goose it's OK to go back to sleep. A good day to you!! May your horrip outbreaks be few and far between!!

Rodents Of Varying Sizes

Besides all being taken this morning, what do these pictures have in common? Yes yes, you're right, you are absolutely right. They are all lousy photos. I give ya that. But besides the lack of quality, hmmmm? Rodents! Many rodents! Although there is only one in each photo, I had 3 gray squirrels, 2 red squirrels and 1 chippy all come to visit this morning. What a great morning! Well, it was for me anyway. Poor Chippy was beside himself trying to shoo the other ROVS's away. (Rodents Of Varying Sizes) This particular chipmunk is my Front Porch buddy who, as you can see, gladly accepted the grape I put out for him this morning. The grape he abandoned several times in an effort to keep all the other rodents out of his territory. It was very entertaining watching him patrol his yard. Even though he approached every single one of the encroaching rodents, he isn't quite pugnacious enough yet to actually attack them. They just gave him THE LOOK and went about their foraging. Work has angered me and I'm not even there yet! The time to leave for work is drawing near and has forced me off the Porch before I was ready to leave. *humphf* oops, sorry... workin' on it. And I was doing so well.  *humphf*... sorry. Currently the weather conditions are thus: 67 degrees, 84% humidity, 3 mph NE winds and fair skies. The high today is expected to reach 79 degrees. And I have to work... PIFFLE!!