Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Realm of Stupidity
Monday, May 30, 2016
And Then The Crow Bellowed
Dec 12 2015
Good morning. Stepped out on the Front Porch, as usual, checked
the weather report, as usual, snapped the picture to illustrate the weather
report, as usual, hit a few of the wrong keys on the phone, AS USUAL, listened,
looked, smelled and tried to "feel" the weather and the morning, as
usual, decided there was nothing unusual enuf to note and was turning to go
back inside to make me a cup of this vile black liquid that me and 90% of my
fellow humans here in the good ole U.S. of A. start our morning with, as usual,
when a crow who, apparently, was perched on the roof directly above
me, loudly bellowed out a response to another crow I had been listening to in
the distance. Did I say bellowed? Capitalize that. He BELLOWED his response.
The resulting jump-start to my heart and body sent the phone tumbling into the
air which sent my hands tumbling thru the air, of their own accord mind you, after
the blasted thing, trying to save it from a potentially deadly fall down the
porch steps. I guess my hands forgot for a moment that they were attached to
ME. I was ungracefully dragged down the steps in a stumbling, tumbling ballet
of sorts as my hands continued to juggle the phone in the air, until we all
finally landed in a heap on the grass. We are all unscathed, the phone, my hands and I. Grass is a good
thing. The fact that the ground hasn't frozen yet, also a good thing. I would
punish my hands for their complete disregard of my well being but I can't
figure out how to do that without causing myself pain. And I might have given
serious consideration to shooting the crow had there been a gun in my hands as
he flew off. I think he was laughing at me. But my only choice at the end of my
dance down the steps was to say "Good morning" to the huge grin that was walking his
dogs by the house at that moment. WHY is there ALWAYS a witness!?
34°, 96% humidity calm winds with "fog?". There ain't no fog bank out there...
May your day be stumble, tumble and trip free!! Ti amo!
34°, 96% humidity calm winds with "fog?". There ain't no fog bank out there...
May your day be stumble, tumble and trip free!! Ti amo!
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Storff of November
Nov. 8, 2015
Nice out. 41° with 55% humidity, 6 mph winds and fair skies.
Gonna take a walk in that recipe. Yeah, it's nice outside... Ok, I’m back. With a selfy no less. Well, a kinda selfy. A shadow selfy! What is it with selfys? Anyway, when I wakes up this morning I'm all stiff and sore. So, I says to myself, I says, self, go
for a walk. That will take care of the "storff" yer feeling. You
know, the "stiff and sore" combo. So, I takes my own
advice and I goes fer a walk. So, when I get back from my walk I've traded in my storff for a runny nose,
sore back and an upset stomach. Now I asks ya, what kinda trade off is that!?!.
The Footsy picture, had ta be done. A leaf of some kinda huge I met on my walk! I mean, seriously, that's a size 11 boat sittin' next to it in the pic, if that can give you some kinda perspective!!!
The Footsy picture, had ta be done. A leaf of some kinda huge I met on my walk! I mean, seriously, that's a size 11 boat sittin' next to it in the pic, if that can give you some kinda perspective!!!
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Pretty Stars of October
From Oct 26, 2015
I'm up at... when did I getup?... Doesn't matter. I'm up
early cus I wanted to see the Venus Jupiter Mars cluster, only to find the
trees obliterating the view. Not completely. I did managed to catch one blurry
picture of all three when the wind moved the branches!! Can't even see the trees
in the picture it was so dark. Way to dark. Which is probably why I had my
heart jump-started by a passing jogger and his trusty dog. Almost wet myself!!
And it's not like the jogger did it on purpose what with the 100 gigawatt headlamp
he was wearing that practically blinded me when we finally saw each other. The
three of us engaged in a massive triple startle but somehow we all maintained
enuf presence of mind NOT to scream and shatter the early morning peace. I'm
sure it was to avoid the embarrassing questions we would have had to answer had
someone called 911. "Gee officer, see the pretty stars..." Uh huh...
It's a warm 34° out, the humidity is at 92%, we have "a few clouds" in the sky, and it says the winds are calm. LIARS!!! The wind is so blowing out there! Ok ok, so maybe it's not gale force. Maybe it’s not really a wind mind you. But it was enuf of a breeze to move the tree tops so I couldn't see the pretty stars. The same pretty stars I DIDN'T have to point out to the 911 police who weren't called because I didn't scream.
In parting, (thank the stars, right?) let us quote the Irish again, "love as though your heart has never been broken." Top o’ the mornin’ to ya! Oh, and one more thing. That really is Venus, Jupiter and Mars in the picture, as seen from the Front Porch. However, I must admit it looks like nothing more than dust motes on the camera lens. :)
It's a warm 34° out, the humidity is at 92%, we have "a few clouds" in the sky, and it says the winds are calm. LIARS!!! The wind is so blowing out there! Ok ok, so maybe it's not gale force. Maybe it’s not really a wind mind you. But it was enuf of a breeze to move the tree tops so I couldn't see the pretty stars. The same pretty stars I DIDN'T have to point out to the 911 police who weren't called because I didn't scream.
In parting, (thank the stars, right?) let us quote the Irish again, "love as though your heart has never been broken." Top o’ the mornin’ to ya! Oh, and one more thing. That really is Venus, Jupiter and Mars in the picture, as seen from the Front Porch. However, I must admit it looks like nothing more than dust motes on the camera lens. :)
Friday, May 27, 2016
Mr. Toad
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Lady Slipper
From Oct. 22 2015
He's in the pic. I'm just a lousy photographer. The Front Porch had a
visitor this morning. Well, two actually. But I only caught a glimpse of the
second one. An unusually bold crow sat in the front tree and made all
kinds of noises for me while I stood underneath. He let me take all kinds of
pictures too. Unfortunately, it was too dark to take a decent one. He and a
mostly unseen Bluejay were having a disagreement about something. The Bluejay
finally buzzed the crow and they took their argument elsewhere. It's 53° warm
this morning. Humidity is hovering at 86%, the winds are calm and it is
overcast. Didn't check to see if we were to expect rain.
One of these days I'm gonna send a text unedited. I'm using the swipe method trying to get used to it. And there is a good example! I just swiped the word “trying” 13 times before giving up and typing it. I gotta see what my texts will say if I let the phone choose for me! A good day to you me loved ones. May the wind be always at yer back!
One of these days I'm gonna send a text unedited. I'm using the swipe method trying to get used to it. And there is a good example! I just swiped the word “trying” 13 times before giving up and typing it. I gotta see what my texts will say if I let the phone choose for me! A good day to you me loved ones. May the wind be always at yer back!
I forgot about the Unedited Swipe!! I haven't done any since I gave up on the swipe method. To illustrate just how bad I am at swiping on the phone, here is my first Unedited Swipe from Oct.22, 2015:
Didn't wanna wait till tomorrow. Here goes with the unedited swipe!
There are two squirrels interested back yards fight ING for food rights. I loved took watch them race around s the trees. Bookmaker little biggies! I wish I confidence visors them weekend they are reaching around and around the tree. I never seem to have my camera with me when I see them do to. That's a ballet workforce video respond!
Translation:
There are two squirrels in the back yard fighting for food rights. I love to watch them race around the trees. Nimble little boogers! I wish I could video tape them when they are racing around and around the trees. I never seem to have my camera with me when I see them do it. That's a ballet worth video taping!
Boy, do I need to practice!
There are two squirrels interested back yards fight ING for food rights. I loved took watch them race around s the trees. Bookmaker little biggies! I wish I confidence visors them weekend they are reaching around and around the tree. I never seem to have my camera with me when I see them do to. That's a ballet workforce video respond!
Translation:
There are two squirrels in the back yard fighting for food rights. I love to watch them race around the trees. Nimble little boogers! I wish I could video tape them when they are racing around and around the trees. I never seem to have my camera with me when I see them do it. That's a ballet worth video taping!
Boy, do I need to practice!
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Once Wasn't Enough
Report from Oct. 10, 2015
I stepped outside to snap the morning weather picture and
there was a rustling in the shrub next to porch. First thought- SKUNK! I could smell the odor. I
froze on the spot. Heard the rustle again- stayed frozen on the spot. Eyes were
still trying to wake up. Squinting like mad trying to see what might be trying
to eat me or make me stink like crazy for the next few weeks. I've discovered
that at my age frozen on the spot means instant full body cramp. These cramps
are not pleasant. I highly suggest you avoid them. Ok, time to bolt for the
door. The distance seems immense, all 10 inches of it. But I ready myself and
make it inside before being attacked by this unseen skunk. From the relative safety behind
the storm door I study the shrub. Rustle rustle rustle. Then I see it!! Water
dripping off the rain gutter onto the leaves!! I went from full body cramp
directly into full body giggle fit. If the neighbors were witness to my antics they must think I am insane. ☺
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)